remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize