I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
