That reminds me...we need to get swords
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
