You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
