I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
