Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
