That reminds me...we need to get swords
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
