That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
