I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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