Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
