Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
