try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
