Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
