my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
