Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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