but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
