what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
