dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
