I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
