There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
