It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
