I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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