I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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