i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
