Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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