Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
