I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
