What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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