I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize