I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
