I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
