Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
