We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
