You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
