sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
