i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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