If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
