Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
