Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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