hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
