I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
