so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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