I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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