You're so nebulous sometimes
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We named our party play list daddy issues
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
