Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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