just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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