The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
