I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
