everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
