I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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