The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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