And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
this is an emotional support booty call
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
