So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
