just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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