Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize