you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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