things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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