We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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