I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
