Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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