Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
