is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
