I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
